The Matt Cockburn Fake Radio Show

 

 MC209 The Times That Try Matts Soul [103:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

After a brilliantly produced intro segment, Matt explains why Pete is not on this episode. In his place is Casandra, from Sharpshooters Grille in Gettysburg. She was scheduled to be interviewed by us in an effort to promote the upcoming midget wrestling at Sharpshooters. But since Pete was absent, she filled in for him during the first hour.

Stars and Stripes Forever brings us into the second hour of the Matt Cockburn Fake Radio Show… in the morning!….

Schaffner shares Mexican stories with the guys, the Top 5 Things We Love About America That Makes Other Countries Hate Us, and much much more!!

And Happy Independence Day!!

Declaration of Independence

Here is the complete text of the Declaration of Independence.
The original spelling and capitalization have been retained.

(Adopted by Congress on July 4, 1776)
The Unanimous Declaration
of the Thirteen United States of America

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. –Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776

Here’s the first 9 minutes from a movie I did a few years ago. Clic the link, watch it and post a comment urging that it be released!!!

President Gets No Better Than ‘PC’ In History

By VICTOR DAVIS HANSON | Posted Thursday, June 11, 2009 4:20 PM PT In his speech last week in Cairo, President Obama proclaimed he was a “student of history.” But despite Barack Obama’s image as an Ivy League-educated intellectual, he lacks historical competency, both in areas of facts and interpretation.This first became apparent during the presidential campaign. Obama proclaimed then that during World War II his great-uncle had helped liberate Auschwitz, and that his grandfather knew fellow American troops that had entered Auschwitz and Treblinka.Both are impossible. The Americans didn’t free either Nazi death camp. (Regarding Obama’s great uncle’s war experience, the Obama team later said he’d meant the camp at Buchenwald.)Much of what Obama said to thousands of Germans during his speech at the Victory Column in Berlin last summer was also ahistorical. He began, “I know that I don’t look like the Americans who’ve previously spoken in this great city.” He apparently forgot that for eight years, the official faces of American foreign policy in Germany were Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice — both African-Americans.In the same speech, Obama suggested the world had come together to save Berlin during the Airlift. In fact, it was almost an entirely American and British effort — written off by most observers as hopeless and joined only by a handful of Western allies when the improbable lift looked like it might succeed.In the Cairo speech, Obama’s historical allusions were even more suspect. Almost all of his references was either misleading or incomplete. He suggested that today’s Middle East tension was fed by the legacy of European colonialism and the Cold War that had reduced nations to proxies.But the great colonizers of the Middle East were the Ottoman Muslims, who for centuries ruled with an iron fist. The 20th-century movements of Baathism, Pan-Arabism and Nasserism — largely homegrown totalitarian ideologies — did far more damage over the last half-century to the Middle East than the legacy of European colonialism.Obama also claimed Islam “carried the light of learning through so many centuries, paving the way for Europe’s Renaissance and Enlightenment.” While medieval Islamic culture was impressive and ensured the survival of a few classical texts — often through Arabic-speaking Christians — it had little to do with the European rediscovery of classical Greek and Latin values. Europeans, Chinese and Hindus, not Muslims, invented most of the breakthroughs Obama credited to Islamic innovation.Much of the Renaissance, in fact, was more predicated on the centuries-long flight of Greek-speaking Byzantine scholars from Constantinople to Western Europe to escape the aggression of Islamic Turks. Many romantic thinkers of the Enlightenment sought to extend freedom to oppressed subjects of Muslim fundamentalist rule in eastern and southern Europe .Obama also insisted “Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance. We see it in the history of Andalusia and Cordoba during the Inquisition.” Yet the Spanish Inquisition began in 1478; by then Cordoba had long been re-conquered by Spanish Christians, and was governed as a staunchly Christian city.In reference to Iraq, Obama promised that “no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.” Is he unaware of how the United States imposed democracies after World War II?After the defeat of German Nazism, Italian fascism and Japanese militarism, Americans — by force — insisted that these nations adopt democratic governments, for their own sakes and the world’s. Indeed, it is hard to think of too many democratic governments that did not emerge from violence — including our own.Obama also stated: “For centuries, black people in America suffered the lash of the whip as slaves and the humiliation of segregation. But it was not violence that won full and equal rights.”With all due respect to our president, this assertion is again not fully accurate. The only thing that ended slavery in the United States was the Civil War, which saw some 600,000 Americans — the vast majority of them white — lost in a violent struggle to ensure that nearly half the country would not remain a slave-owning society. Also, the massive urban riots of the 1960s and 1970s were certainly violent.This list of distortions could be easily expanded. The president, in elegant fashion, may casually invoke the means of politically correct history for the higher ends of contemporary reconciliation. But it is a bad habit. Eloquence and good intentions exempt no one from the truth of the past — Obama included.Hanson is a classicist and historian at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University, and author, most recently, of “A War Like No Other: How the Athenians and Spartans Fought the Peloponnesian War.”

Go here and subscribe or become a friend of my youtube profile. Each month we will post a few short clips from the show for those of you who have the attention span of a gnat and can’t sit through the whole show

This is also where you will find our video series, “I Tell You What” starring every woman’s dreamboat, Cyrus “Bumpy” Wilkinson .

That’s right, ladies and germs, Pauls dream and Jessica Johnson’s nightmare have both come true at the same time. Sharpshooters Grille, here in sunny South-Central Pennsylvania, is hosting MIDGET WRESTLING on July 9. Here’s their Facebook Page . If you are in the area or can get to the area onJuly 9, come on down and see the fun. Me and most of the gang will be there with little midget bells on.

Casandra, the manager of Sharpshooters, will be on the next show to discuss the exciting event. I think I have her convinced to do midget tossing next year.

 

 Standard Podcast [143:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

That’s right, it’s that time of year again: Mattmas! Hooray! Not only is it the time of year that we gather together in small, intimate gatherings to thank me and send me present via the U.S. Postal Service, or email me pictures of your girlfriend (or yourself if you’re a bonny lass), but it’s also the time that we welcome the beginning of the summer and take care of each other in whatever way needed, not wanted.

In this episode Matt announces his plans to leave Gettysburg at the beginning of 2010, Schaffner practically gets on his hands and knees to beg him to stay. The gang discusses the Eurovision Song Contest; Matt’s impatience with people’s short attention span; Emily’s dog is lost and SuperMatt comes to the rescue. Petenik Poetry.

In the second segment, Schaffner Trebek hosts the MCFRS’s version of Jeorpardy. It’s broken up into two segments where you can hear Matt graciously let Pete win so that they can be tied in victories over silly game shows.   At the bottom of the first hour, the boys discuss the very serious issue of sex addiction… and how it’s bullshit.  At the top of the second hour, Paul’s wife Judy joins the boys to share Mattmas customs from around the world.  

Folks, I have been saying it for months on here, years in my personal life, and now, a Russian, has backed up what I say. Not because the author is a fan of the show, even though he is, but because Russians over a certain age lived through Communism brought on by Marxism. They know the signs and they know the horrors. And the rest of the world can recognize what lone voices in the wilderness, like me, have been saying since the 1960s and especially more so during and since Clinton. But no one listens. They either write us off as crazies or are too proud to admit that they are one of the duped and, frankly, don’t know exactly what Marxism, communism, socialism and capitalism entail. So they tune out if they don’t mock. Well, those people are the ones to be mocked and laughed at. They are the masses and they are asses and it is because they are asses, they ignored the warnings, refused to educate themselves and see that we are right and, now, they find the world laughing at us. Kind of ironic once you consider that these sheeple (read Obama voters/supporters) are more concerned about how the world views us rather than doing what’s right for our country domestically. Well, maybe now they will see that the world convinced a few stupid Americans a few decades ago that what everyone else thought of us was priority #1. And while those countries moved towards capitalism, we had to move slowly away. Ya know, out of fairness.

Anyway, read this English translation of a Russian opinion piece (yes, while we are slowly disallowed from having opinions, the former Soviet Union is spreading opinion).  And before you do, I wish to apologize, on behalf of my generation and all others since 1945, to the WWII generation. Actually, the WWII, WWII, Spanish-American War, Indian Wars, Civil War, Mexican War, War of 1812 and Revolutionary War veterans and dead. You fought and died for nothing, it turns out. Your government betrayed you and made your sacrifice worthless as they only made us worse since WWII. I feel bad saying this, but while you fought for the country you loved, its government was not actually the one it was supposed to be. I’m talking to the WWII guys here. While you kicked major ass for the U.S., she turned around and squandered your success. And your children, the “Baby Boomers”, are the worst generation to ever come into existence in this country. It is they alone who have gotten us to this point and they alone who should be jailed for treason if they were once hippies. Seriously, folks.

http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/column … pitalism-0

American capitalism gone with a whimper 
Front page / Opinion / Columnists
27.04.2009 Source: Pravda.Ru           




It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people. 
 
True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their “right” to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our “democracy”. Pride blind the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different “branches and denominations” were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the “winning” side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the “winning” side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America’s short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

[Join Pravda.ru forum to experience freedom of speech]


These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more then a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama’s command that GM’s (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of “pure” free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise, that the American president has followed this up with a “bold” move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK’s Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our “wise” Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper…but a “freeman” whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set “fair” maximum salaries, evaluate performance and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery with out a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Stanislav Mishin

The article has been reprinted with the kind permission from the author and originally appears on his blog, Mat Rodina

P.S. The June show is about to be up. Been having some technical difficulties.

 

 June 2009- Top 5 Executive Orders If I Were President [11:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Since we recorded the June show atad earlier than we normally do, I figured I’d give you a little teaser/treat. This is the June 2009 Top. Each of us list the top five executive orders we would make if we were president at this point in time. It’s a rare treat for our iTune-only listeners that you get a top 5 on the feed. The fun and frivolity in this short clip is just the tip of the fun and frivolity iceberg found in the June show. Enjoy and list yours below!

The Mattmas Season has begun and the Mattmas show will be up on or by June 1. First let me thank all the people who are continuing the tradition of Mattmas. Ya know, buying me drinks when you see me out at a bar, buying dinner if you see me pass a restaurant you are dining in, offering your 20 year old daughter to me for the night… the usual holiday things. But I’d also like to thank the new Mattites who are beginning to celebrate this joyous season.

The spirit of Mattmas is to not only give to me, but to each other. I know, I know, Christmas has that spirit too and it takes you till June to pay off your credit card bills from Christmas. But that’s not the point. A Mattmas gift is something all together different. You shouldn’t spend any money on a gift. Only festive meals and drinks. Gifts could be something you have made, something you do for someone or something you do to someone.

I have received several emails asking me what kind of Mattmas present could someone across the country or even the world give me. The answer is very simple. Take a picture of yourself (if you’re a girl) topless while holding a sign that says “Happy Mattmas”. Guys, take a pic of your chick doing the aforementioned action.

Happy Mattmas to all, and to all a good Matt!

 

 MC207- The Rachael Robbins Interview [135:31m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Guys, get your weiners out; young women, take notes. The Fine, Funny and Female actor, producer and bombshell, Rachael Robbins, has graced our fake airwaves with her sweet voice, seering wit, and her no-holds-barred views of the entertainment industry of today. Rachael Robbins With the MCFRS Logo

 Also in this episode, listener emails, Pete’s account of his trip to NYC to see Rachael in Fine, Funny and Female, our new game show “Who’s Got the Biggest Ballsack Full of…. Songs” in which The Great Matt Cockburn and Peter C Bonfanti battle it out to see whose sack is fuller and much, much more!

Rachael also joins us on our Top 5, which can be found here.