The Matt Cockburn Show

Ah Passive/Aggressivity
5 April 2009, Cockburn @ 8:49 am

In college I had a roomate who was a proud, America-hating, self-proclaimed Anarchist. And ya know what? I respected, and still respect, him more than any Liberal I have ever met. Why? Because he had the balls to admit what the rest of us already know about Liberals, Socialists, Communists and Anarchists: They hate America.

With that said, we ended up having an argument in the middle of the Spring semester. We gave each other the silent treatment until the last day of school. But there were plenty of passive/aggressive things along the way. At that time, I listened to music to fall asleep. He tolerated it but didn’t really like it. Mainly because I listen to good music and he liked Roxette and Bjork. Yeah, I know. Anyway, after the silent treatment began, he would turn down my music if he came home after I went to bed. Sick of it, I sought my revenge. The volume knob on my speaker was just the place to do it.

I took a thumb tack and some scotch tape. I poked the tack through the tape and then taped around the knob with the tack, extra sharp from a whet stone I had, poking out so that when he went o turn it down, he would get poked. “That’ll teach him,” I snickered to myself.

I stayed up for hours waiting for him to get home. Laughing to myself in a diabolical manner. But, alas, my good Catholic-school upbringing came through and I took it off before he got home.

While I was pissed at myself for having a conscience, I was also glad I did it. Things were tense enough. Why should I prove to him that we Americans are violence-loving warmongers? So, I rested easily. Fact was, I didn’t hate the kid. Like I said, I had a deep respect for him even though he was 25 and acted like an angst-ridden 14 year-old.

But I admire people who aren’t afraid to put someone in their place with the potential for bodily harm. That’s why this clip cracks me up. Ah, if only.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EEgM92_LGU

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