The Matt Cockburn Show

January 11, 2009– Marley and Me
12 January 2009, Cockburn @ 10:31 am

So at the last minute, Emily and I decided to go to see “Marley and Me” starring Owen Wilson and that piece Jennifer Aniston. I figured it would be a chick flick but I went anyway. It actually isn’t a chick flick. It’s a dude and his dog flick. And I was ill-prepared for that. At first it was light, cute, funny. But towards the end, it got real. Real, as in, “how do you think this heart-warming story is going to end, dummy?” I mean dogs don’t live forever. That’s true enough. But to see the man, play by Wilson, say good-bye to his best friend– this unruly, uncontrollable dog– tears anyone’s heart in two. The movie made me realize something. I realized that I had not mourned the loss of my own dog, Killer…. Ok, her name was Muffin. I didn’t name her. Anyhoo, we had to put her down in 2003. She had a good run. I got her when I wasin 4th grade. I lived at home in ‘03 and my sister and I noticed that ol’ Muff could barely move and just layed around all day. The spark of life was no longer in her. We called our dad and told him that we think it was time she went the way of Old Yeller. I was loading my gun as we spoke. He suggested taking her to the vet. How novel, I thought. So we made him do it as we couldn’t bring ourselves to. He did. He later told me that it broke his heart to see her lying on the table a shell of who she was. I guess I somehow put it out of my mind, and heart. (I was dumb and numb back then).

It took this silly movie, a true story by the way, to make me realize a few things. One, I won’t go into here as it is too personal. The other is that I miss my dog and never acknowledged it. I thought that while she was surely a member of the family and we had an un-understandable bond that many humans share with animals (or we think we share it), she was still a dog. I could get another if I wanted to. Which is true. But that one would be different. The new one would not have grown up with me like she did. The new one would be raised by me. Not with me. And that’s what I realized in the funeral scene in Marley and Me. As the middle child said his thing over the grave of the dog, he signed off saying “Your brother, Connor.” And that’s right. Marley, like Killer, I mean, Muffin, was indeed a beloved member of the family and my baby sister. I am thankful of the time I had with her, and I miss her.

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